Nothing like a storm in your heart to wake you up

The closer I get to GRADUATION the more multiple types of emotions flow through my body.
excited worried happy sad grateful scared loved stressed regret uncomfortable peace angry fearful cheerful

My faith is being tested more than ever. Bad news is brought to my attention on a daily basis. It is hard to keep smiling when friends are drowning in fear and sorrow.

My smile stays, because of my students. THEY are the ones who make all of this worth it. I consider what is best for them in every decision I make. 

My faith remains rooted in my Savior.
He is my teacher and I choose to follow where He leads.

Curveball

I need to learn to let go of the things I have no control over. I usually don't have so much stress kept up inside of me, but I feel like I am surrounded by people who do not understand what I am going through. My fellow student teachers have all passed the test. It has been one day, one long day and I am about to lose my mind. I took a nap today, not because I was tired (although that was part of it), but because I needed to turn off my mind and relax. I can't tell you the last time I relaxed.

I am writing this down, so I can get it off my chest. I feel like I am crashing down and I cannot stop it. I feel my God doing the best He can to comfort me and surround me with people who care. I will be forever grateful for that, but I still feel myself backing up into a corner.

I don't want to hear anymore about the economy and zero jobs for teachers. I just want to focus on one day at a time. I need to get passed tomorrow, because my students depend on me to bring all of my personality and joy to the classroom. That is when I feel they learn more, when I want to be there. Last week was rough and I know they could feel my lack of concentration. I don't want this week to be the same.

Lord, bring me new joy in the morning! Let your light shine down!

Unexpected Surprises

My new 2nd graders are great!
No class will ever compare to my amazing 3rd graders, but I was spoiled with them.

In the first month they have tested me, hugged me, and apologized to me.

• One little boy decided it would be OK to do the entire Thriller dance (including sing) during a math lesson.

•  I got on to another boy, because he was not listening and following directions. After school he ran up to me and decided to let me know that he did not want me to be mean and he is sorry for not listening. I continued to tell him that he has yet to see me mean...
• The "Thriller Boy" convinced me that he had to go to the bathroom and it was an emergency (even though he asks to go every minute) I gave in and told him to hurry. He ran to the door, turned around and laughed an evil laugh as he ran out the door...never again will he go to the bathroom during my class.
• "Thriller Boy's" birthday was this week. 

me-"How old are you going to be?"
thriller boy-"8"
me-"wow, you're getting old!"
TB-"I don't wanna be old. Old people die."
me-"oh, well yeah. that is life."
TB-"my Grandma died."
me-"my Grandpa died a couple years ago."
TB-"HA! I win the Grandpa contest!!"
me-"well then I win the Grandma contest...?"
TB-confused/frustrated face
me-"we are even."
TB-"OK"


I never know what the day will bring, which makes me love teaching.

clear my mind and open my eyes

I had misplaced an important piece of jewelry to me. I only discovered the lost necklace, because once again I am packing. My heart started to race and I got very flustered and hot. I paused to pray then immediately looked in every place I could think of. I ran to the bathroom drawer then to the closet where all my jewelry is stored. No sign of the necklace.

:::IMPORTANT INFORMATION:::

if you do not know me that well...I can't find things to save my LIFE! promise. NEVER ask me to look for something, because I will not find it. I could stare at it for a good minute and it will not click.

OK, back to the lost necklace.

I was trying really hard not to freak out. I kept thinking...
"it is just a worldly item."
"I don't need it."
"Oh, My, Gosh!"
"Grandpa gave this to me."
"I feel terrible."
"I'm super hot right now."
"Just breathe."
"Lord, where is it?"

I looked on top of the dresser in a little basket with random things. I FOUND THE NECKLACE...with the charm no where to be seen. My heart sank. That was the most important part. I started to panic again. Things went flying everywhere. I was on the verge of tears.

"Lord, please don't let this be happening right now. I know this is just material and it means nothing once I am in your presence, but Grandpa gave me this five years ago. I will be heartbroken if I truly lost it. Clear my head and open my eyes."

Maybe I will check my jewelry organizer again. As I searched the pockets for the SECOND time I found the beautiful rain drop shape charm. I just stared at it. "Thank you, Jesus!" I have felt the Holy Spirit quite a bit lately and it gives me chills when I realize that without His voice and guidance I would not be the person I am today.



"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace." Acts 20:24


This year was full of surprises.

the good, bad, and the ugly


I wouldn't have perservered through any of them without my Maker there to encourage me the entire way.

My Strength Comes From My Maker

Do you ever have those days where you don't know what is happening?
...You are so sleep deprived everything is funny?
...You want to eat everything in sight?
...You lose appreciation for the simple things?

I have been fighting these emotions the last couple of days. Luckily, I have not fallen into the trap. I stayed strong...except the "laugh at everything" part. I can't control that, even when I am sane.

I have been walking/jogging several times a week. This makes me feel better and gives me more energy to conquer the following days.

I am unoffcially an Aunt. This brings me joy and I cannot wait to hold her in my arms : )

I drink wayy more coffee than I ever have. Some days my body accepts it, others it rebels and gives me the shakes.

The Texas State Fair was a lot of fun. I tried like 20 different fried things. Delish. I also learned that I am too old to ride on the rides...

One thing that has popped up in my vision lately is how faithful, gracious, wonderful, amazing, and terrific my Savior is. He opened my eyes to things that I was blinded to, which made me appreciate Him more than ever. He brought me peace with my discovery, which made me fall in love with Him even more.

Trusting that He is leading me where He wants me to go, has become easier and easier with every step.

Bells are Ringing

As I sit watching the Cowboys play Da Bears, memories rush into my mind from last year. Last year I was just a college student enjoying the game with several boys I had fun with. I want it to be last year again. I want it to go back to how I felt about those boys, the game, my life, and my emotions.

I am no longer a college student, so my director tells me. I am an intern who should have only one day out of the week to myself. All other days should be filled with work, writing lessons, grading papers, and thinking of something you could change about a paper.

Growing up is fun, but hard. I am enjoying everything I am doing during my internship and it has led me to the conclusion that I cannot wait to have my own classroom. At the same time it has created a distance between my heart and Denton. I miss the people who challenged me with my walk, who always put a smile on my face, and who were a blast to be around.

I am tired of being exhausted all the time. I sleep more than I should, yet at the same time I don't get enough sleep. It is such a weird equation.

[cowboys are on the 1 yard line!!]

I am so grateful that my best friend for life is getting married in 6 days. Not only because that is an exciting time in her life, but because I get to see people I haven't seen or talked to in a while. I am filled with joy to celebrate the uniting of two hearts with people that I love.

[cowboys scored! 14-10]

This post was to say congrats to Lauren and Taylor, hurray for partying with great friends, boo for growing up and leaving friends behind, and yay for new experiences.

Keep up the faith.

My Heart Pitter-Patters for You

First Summer Sesh-check
Two A's in first summer sesh-check
Start second summer sesh and be overwhelmed-check















I went to the most amazing ranger game. It would have been their 12th in a row win..except they lost. It was amazing, because God is soo good. His creation speaks to me and it was yelling at me that night. It rained a little bit before the game and even some during it, which left the sky filled with a gorgeous sunset.















This was only half of the beauty we witnessed. The sky was all kinds of yellow and orange behind us. SOO beautiful! I am also obsessed with giant glowing moons.















It was wonderful. I was afraid the clouds would cover it, but nope. It looked onto us all night.

What truly made this night wonderful was the person I was with. I don't have a picture cuz he doesn't like pictures..this shall soon change. This boy has a huge heart and I am so excited to see where the Lord takes him. I don't know that much about him, but what I do know, I adore.

Getting close to someone makes me anxious. I never know what to do, but I continue to pray and I know that the Lord placed him in my life at this moment for a reason. I want to follow the Lord's guidance in every situation and ignore my flesh...not so easy.















LIBBY IS DRIVING!!! this would be OK if I didn't have car anxiety and she didn't do things like slam the brakes at a light that just turned yellow as we're about to roll through the intersection...

I saw this on a girls neck today and it brought me encouragement, so I will leave it with the one person who reads this :)

Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer.-Romans 12:12