love is hard

I was listening to James Morrison's song Love is Hard on the way home from an amazing bible study session tonight. It made me think about how much Jesus loves me, ALWAYS. I am so blessed to know that He loves me in my darkest times. Things of the world will fail me, but His love endures forever! IT gives me chills to feel His love. The song explains the pain that you go through by falling in love and that love mean giving someone the powere to hurt you again and again. How true that is. Giving someone our heart is a scary thing. It truly belongs to the Lord and I believe if your heart is in the right place with Him then everything is possible. If your relationships foundation is built on Christ then it will last. LOVE IS HARD. Jesus loves us and He longs for us to have a relationship with Him. He is the ultimate lover of our souls.

I see lovers in the streets walking,
Without a care.
They're wearing out loud
Like there's something in the air
Oooooh, and I don't care

They're treading lightly
No they, don't sink in
There's no tracks to follow
They don't care where they're going
Hmm

And if they're lucky and they'll,
They'll get to see and if they're
Really really lucky they'll
Get to feel...

And it kicks so hard,
It breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
It hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
Makes your blood flow.
It's beter that you know,
That love is hard.

Love takes hostages,
Gives them pain.
Gives someone the power to
Hurt you again and again
Oooh, but they don't care

And if they're lucky and they'll,
They'll get to see and if they're
Really really lucky they'll
They'll get to feel.
And if they're, they're truely blessed
And they're get to believe
And if you're dammed, you'll never
Let youreself be diseased.


And it kicks so hard,
It breaks your bones.
Cuts so deep
It hits your soul.
Tears your skin and
And makes your blood flow.
It's beter that we know,
That love is hard...

Love is hard, love is hard.

If it was easy,
It wouldn't mean nothing tough.

Go show love.

trust

this break God has done some major work on my heart and I loved every minute of it!

For some reason it is so hard to put my complete trust in the Lord and I can't understand it. So this break I was thinking about the things I put my trust in daily. such as...my car starting, hot water in the shower, my computer to work, food in the kitchen...worldly things. I then realized that every time one of those things lets me down i get mad. the Lord will NEVER let me down, yet I don't put my complete trust in him all the time. I constantly have to remind myself that He has me in His hand and I am fine. I let God down everyday when I turn my back, yet He always welcomes me back with loving arms when i repent, even when I don't think that I deserve it.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you" Joshua 1:5

looking back on 2008

so i was thinking about the things i went through and everything i learned in 08. let's review...

i moved back to texas thinking that things would be the same. some were, some were not. i lost a best friend to save my faith and hers. it was one of the hardest things i have ever done. we are friends again, but more cautious. i wouldn't change any of our memories and heartbreak for anything. i didn't fail any classes. i studied more than i have my entire life, which paid off. i started living with my nana and grandpa. it's wonderful. i have learned so much living with both sets of grandparents. i truly know that i am blessed. i went to disney world, people are crazy. when it's hot and not everyone speaks the same language, people get nuts. it truly is the most wonderful place on earth :) i got my first A's in college. i fell in love with a boy who turned out to be the opposite of who i thought he was. it's hard to think of someone you knew so well for so long turn out to be a crazy person. i thought it would at least go back to how we were before, best friends. but no. he has too much pride. so i guess you can say i lost two best friends in 08. but i did gain one. the best one. she was there for me through everything, even though she didn't have to be. i attended one wedding and no funerals. i cried more times than i can count and laughed even more. I found Christ again. oh how magnificent that is. how joyful i have been since the renewal of my spirit. If i had to go through all of that just to be the person i am today, then i would go through all of it again.

so thank you. to the people who have been there and who haven't. I love ya'll cuz God put you in my life to save me. May God put someone in your life to save you.

it's now or never

okk, so here i go.

New Years Resolutions

• start writing down/blogging at least once a week.
• pray without hesitation/all the time. lean not on my own understanding.
• lose another twenty lbs by summer by eating better and exercising more.
• always be reading a book. read the Bible everyday.
• not be quick to anger/over think the little things.

so, that's what i have right now. as i am typing i am eating peanut butter m&ms, which are my downfall. I don't think that the writing thing will be too difficult, but it will still need discipline. I haven't been praying as much as i used to. that makes me sad. eating better shouldn't be a problem since my grandparents are going on a diet so i have to eat what they eat. exercising should be more than normal since lauren will be here. sometimes i would much rather watch tv than read a book, but i have several new books that i think i will enjoy. and not being angry goes back to prayer.

It's a new year full of adventure, surprises, love, laughter, tears, and heartbreak.
i am so ready.